#080 People need what you have to give ~ Chantelle Turner

#080 People need what you have to give ~ Chantelle Turner

“I guarantee you that you, along with your child, no matter their disability, no matter your challenges in life, there is something incredibly special that you have that no one else on this planet has to offer. And that you can leverage that to make a better life for you and your family.”

This week on the podcast I’m talking to Chantelle Turner. Chantelle Turner is the founder of Stronger Mommy, which she created as a way to help other parents like her who have children with disabilities. After building an incredible community around Stronger Mommy, Chantelle also founded Not Yet Notable, which is focused on helping coaches and course creators grow highly active and engaged communities around their brands. Chantelle has co-authored 4 books, including Million Dollar Story which recently hit #1 Best Seller in all 3 categories.

When her daughter was a few months old, Chantelle received stacks of medical bills totalling more than $100,000. She was already commuting, working full time and parenting. There was no way she could get another job. 

Chantelle’s first experience with building a business online was a dismal failure. She lost money. 

But she persisted and figured it out by focusing on who she wanted to help – parents of kids with disabilities. 

Chantelle has a serious commitment to keeping a growth mentality when it comes to parenting, business and life. She talks about riding the emotional roller coaster of life and business, how to find the mindset to keep moving forward to success, and how to apply a “hire fast and fire faster” mindset to friends on the internet. Chantelle’s approach? “Whatever you tell yourself is absolutely true.” And she wants you to start telling yourself the truth about how great you are. 

You can listen to this podcast episode on iTunes or Spotify.

Transcript

Genia:
Welcome to the Good Things in Life podcast. I’m Genia Stephen. In the last few episodes, we’ve been talking about the possibility that mothers of kids with disabilities might be able to parent their kids the way they want and the way that they need to, and also earn some money to help create some financial stability for their families. Shantelle Turner. My guest today is the founder of Stronger Mommy, which she created as a way to help parents like her who have children with special needs, her original story and project around Stronger Mommy built on her experiences of having a child with a disability. And so she’s really starting from that perspective of strengths and personal interests and going from thereafter building an incredible community around Stronger Mommy Chantelle also founded Not Yet Notable, which is focused on helping coaches and course creators grow highly active and engaged communities around their brands. Shantelle has coauthored four books, including million-dollar story, which recently hit number one bestseller in all three categories. And she has another book coming out that she will tell us about. Shantelle, thank you so much for being on the podcast. I’m really excited to have you.

Chantelle:
Thank you for asking me to be here. I am super excited to be able to talk to these incredible moms out there. Yeah. I wonder if you could just start by

Genia:
Telling a bit about your, a bit of your story.

Chantelle:
Yeah. So if we go back to like in the way back time machine to 2012, I was happily building the corporate career. I had married my husband and we decided that we wanted to start a family and I was working full time doing pretty well financially and we’re like, great. We’re going to start a family got pregnant right away. I know a lot of women don’t and so we felt very grateful for that first child first grandbaby in the family. Even though I have an older sister, I was that, you know, go get our first one. And my pregnancy went really, really well. Everything was normal the whole time, everything looked good. And I went into labor full term, 38 weeks, five days. And I was in a lot of pain during labor, which is pretty normal. But when we got to the hospital, every time I would have a contraction, my daughter’s heart would stop.

Chantelle:
And so they rushed us in to do an emergency C section. They got her out and then they were like, everything looks good. Crap. Our scores were good. Everything’s great. Here’s your healthy brand new baby. And so my family, they lived a couple hours away. They drove up first grandbaby. It was so exciting. And then her blood sugar was a little bit low. Her temperature was a little bit low. She was struggling with the breastfeeding, but Hey, new baby, first time, mom, totally normal. So they took her to the nursery to warm her up. And her pediatrician did his rounds. Then when they come and they look at the babies for the first time and he looked at her and he said, I don’t know what’s wrong, but something is wrong with this baby. And she needs to be in the NICU. And within 20 minutes of her being up in the NICU, she had two APNIC episodes that stopped her breathing.

Chantelle:
She turned blue, thank God she was up there and they revived her right away. But then they had to figure out like, what is going on? Is this happening? And so it was EEG and MRIs. And eventually, they figured out that she had had an in utero stroke just before birth. And that caused a very large portion of her brain to die. That’s pretty much how it was put to us. Your daughter’s brain has a portion of it is dead. It’s never going to come back. Her doctor proceeded to the neurologist, proceeded to physically act out what her like. She might look like as she continued to progress through life how she might move, how might, how she might function. It was the most devastating moment. Yeah, that sounds terrible. Oh my God. To a new parents. And then we spent 11 days in the NICU, which is nothing compared to so many, but you know, 11 days is a long time.

Chantelle:
As brand new parents, we spent 11 days there during which time the hospital was like, Oh, you’re applying for all sorts of things for you. I had good insurance. My husband had good insurance. We knew a lot wouldn’t be covered. And they’re like, don’t worry, we’re applying for this. And we’re applying for that. And I knew there was, you know, a mountain of paperwork and trying to figure out how to be parents and survive all of this. And six months down the road of me fighting to get her into every service that I could seeing all the best offers, getting her all the best help came a pile of medical bills that I was not expecting. And I very quickly realized that whatever they had said they were applying for, they did not. And I had over a hundred thousand dollars of medical debt, a full-time job commuting, three hours a day to and from work, sticking my daughter in childcare.

Chantelle:
And my husband at the time traveled 80% of the year for his work. So oftentimes I felt like a single mom and I couldn’t pay our bills and I couldn’t take on another job because there was absolutely no way that I could spend even more time away from my daughter. And it’s truly, when I discovered that, Hey, you could make money legally on the internet. That’s kind of the long and the short of it. Right. So where, what did you do before your daughter was born in your corporate career? Yeah, so I, so I actually have kind of traveled throughout a few things. I have a degree in theater arts, and I decided to put that to use by getting into an industry that was based on live events. You can imagine how hard that is at the moment, but we did live events.

Chantelle:
And so I actually did audiovisual sales for a hotel at the time. So I was working in a hotel commuting, eyelids, it kind of far out in Phoenix. And I would commute into downtown Phoenix every day, sit in a hotel, do sales calls all day and then commute back home. So when you decided, or when you received this stack of medical bills and figured out that you might be able to earn some money online, where, how did you kind of wrap your head around that? Like where were you in your thinking at that point? Yeah. So at the time, I was exhausted, I was getting up at four 30, every single morning to get myself ready to get Kiarra, my daughter, ready to get her dropped off at daycare to drive an hour and a half into work falling asleep on the highway, falling asleep.

Chantelle:
When I got to work, like totally burned out, exhausted to just like drive home at five o’clock and do it all again. And I knew that we needed a way to make more income, but I knew I couldn’t take on another job nor could my husband, because of what we were already doing. And a friend reached out and said, Hey, I can make four, you could make $400 a month on the internet with network marketing. And I’m like, okay, that sounds cool. Sure. Marketing was like your introduction into this. It was a failed, miserable introduction. So I won’t be able to know, like I’ve seen both sides. She told me I could make money on the internet. I was like, that sounds cool. Sign me up. And then I proceeded to spend money. We didn’t have failed miserably feel even worse because it was a product that I didn’t really believe in.

Chantelle:
I was just trying to make money. And then the second time around, somebody said, Hey, try this product. I didn’t even know it was a network marketing product at the time I fell in love with it. And then they were like, you can sell it to people. I was like, no, I don’t want to I’ve done it. It was terrible. And he said, I realized that it was something that I loved and I started to share it. And I was very successful with it for a while, but like anything, I hit this plateau where I could no longer just, you know, share it with friends and family. And I hit this plateau and that’s when I really had to pit it and figure out like, who am I serving? Whatever it is when I started to learn marketing, truly understanding, building a business of marketing, it wasn’t about building a network marketing business. It was about understanding how marketing works and that your product, no matter what anyone tells you is not for everyone. And so I realized who do I want to help the most? Not what can I sell them, but who do I want to help? And that became special needs parents.

Genia:
Right. Okay. And so how did you go from your plateauing sales job or, or network marketing job or business to Stronger Mommy?

Chantelle:
Yeah. So so I was building that up, looking for the who that one person that I could really market to and the product itself was in the health and wellness niche. And I thought, who needs to take care of their health better than other special needs parents like me? I fell in love with the product first, before I knew it was something I could sell. And I fell in love with it because I was a tired, exhausted, special needs mom that was falling asleep on the freeway. As I drove to work, I needed the product. And so I started looking for ways to automate some of the things that I was doing. I hired my first mentor I spent at the time was an insane amount of money, $5,000 to me, that was the most insane amount of money ever on a mentor.

Chantelle:
And I spent that money knowing that I would learn the skills that I needed to better myself and to be able to grow. And so I invested in myself and I earned that money back through understanding how to market and through that Stronger Mommy was born where I realized the people that I really wanted to help it wasn’t about selling a product. It was about helping special needs. Parents get the resources, services, support, and community that they needed because that was the piece that I was missing. I had figured out how to get all the services that my daughter needed. I had figured out how to apply for the financial support that we needed through the state and actually get some stuff covered. I had figured out how to handle, you know, all the questions and deal with all of that. What I hadn’t didn’t have with was anyone else that I knew that had a child with special needs.

Chantelle:
And I was in these other communities for special needs parents. And they were really negative. There was either Nancy’s in those can be like, women are delicious. And I thought that this should be a place of support, not a place where we tear each other down. And so I created my own. I said, screw it. I’m done. I’m just going to start my own. And zero to six months, that thing grew to 2,600 members. So positive, so engaged because from the get-go, I said, we’re going to be different. We’re going to be adult women here. We’re not going to tear each other down. And if you don’t have something nice to say, keep it to yourself. And that’s really where it was born.

Genia:
Awesome. And where, what size is the community Stronger Mommy community now?

Chantelle:
So we’re just under 3000 members. I am literally doing absolutely nothing to grow the community. It grows on its own on occasion. I, I honestly don’t talk about it as much as I really should because I’ve been focused on other things, but it’s over 90% of every single person in that community is active and engaged. So what’s great about that means that the people there it is their home, they feel supported and that’s all I wanted was a place that has a special needs parent. I could go. And other, other special needs, parents could go there if you’re not especially tenancy, can’t get in. So like, even if you’re a teacher that just special needs children, or if you’re a therapist, but if you don’t have a child going through these things, you can’t get into the community. And what it means is that this community, sometimes you can vent.

Chantelle:
Sometimes you can be vulnerable. Sometimes you can ask a question and you get other parents that go, Oh my gosh, I too have lived through that. And there is no shame. There is no tearing each other down. It’s just not done there. And so that was super powerful, but that’s what led to me realizing that building a community was my superpower. And I think if anyone out there that’s, especially if your specialty is fat and you’re like, okay, cool. I understand now that I have to make money on the internet like there’s no other way I can’t get another job. I need to be home with my kid. I need to make money on the internet in a legal way. I don’t want to sell somebody else’s products or services. Maybe you’re in that point where like, I don’t want to do network marketing.

Chantelle:
Totally cool. They feel you. So you have to figure out like, what’s your superpower and pretty much, you’re going to figure that out by the thing that is so easy to you, that other people are odd by. And for me, that was building a community. I had people that would come to me and go, Oh my God, your community’s incredible. And I’m like, I don’t know. I’m just good at that. And they, and so other entrepreneurs wanted to understand how to build a community, how to build a movement around their message around the thing that they were doing. And so that’s what I do now. I help them build that movement around their message, but it all started from building a movement around mine.

Genia:
Right. So originally somebody told you you could make hundred dollars a month legally online. Yeah. And, and where, where are you now? Like, are you still earning $400 a month legally online?

Chantelle:
Significantly more. We did thousands and thousands of dollars a month. Yeah.

Genia:
Yeah, yeah. And I just think it’s the I think that you started in 2012, you said Cara was born?

Chantelle:
She was born in 2012, Stronger Mommy was founded. I also, I joined the first network marketing company towards the end of 2014. Failed miserably made $0 negative dollars actually, because I spent money going to a second company and did pay off. I use that company to pay off all of her medical bills, over a hundred thousand dollars in medical bills. I paid them all off while also still working full time. It’s not like I just quit my job. I was still working full time. I was doing that in my “spare time”, spare time doesn’t really exist, but the nooks and crannies of time.

Chantelle:
And then after that, when I finally got dug out from that hole, and I knew that I could consistently generate the income that was replacing my full-time job when she was, I think four, I want to say so 2016 in December of 2016 is when I officially left my full-time job. Now we’re talking in 2020, right? Middle of 2020. I have been free and clear of working for somebody else for over three years. And it’s amazing. And I have so much more freedom to do the things that I want to do to be with my daughter. And I have the skills that I’ve learned over time to be able to continuously make profit on the internet.

Genia:
That’s awesome. And I love, I mean, so I wouldn’t want people to think that everybody is likely to go from losing money to making thousands of dollars a month in a few years. Cause for lots of people, it’s going to be a more gradual path. But it’s amazing that it can happen, that it is possible. You know, some people are going to some people are going to not start with the collection of skills that you had when you started, you know what I mean in the background. So it may take people longer to do it, but it is pretty remarkable that you can go from, you know, a corporate gig in one, you know, in one like area of, of business, completely pivot and build an amazing thriving business like you have in a few short years.

Chantelle:
So, and everybody has the ability to do this. The difference is a lot of times, and I see this now with COVID people are stuck in this, in this mental state of, I can’t be because I can’t be successful because COVID means that I can’t do the things that I’m good at, or I can’t make money on the internet because I don’t have this one specific skill that I think I need to have. And instead, you need to look at it as I can be successful. I can do this. What do I have? What still do I have right now that is marketable. And I tell people all the time, the biggest thing to do is to make a list of every single thing you are capable of doing. Whether you think anyone would care to pay you for it or not just make the list and then go back through that list and cross off everything you hate doing. If it, even if somebody paid you for it, cross it off. If you hate cleaning bathrooms, cross that off your list. But it should have been on there to begin with because it’s a skill that you possess that is marketable. Okay? So put it on there, cross all the things off that you hate. And then look at what’s left and then start to group them together.

Chantelle:
You might find, Hey, you know what weird? I didn’t realize, but I actually really liked reading books. I love reading. You know what I mean? You can be an editor. You can easily sell your skills. Hey, there are tons of people that want to speak into this, into a, an application and then translate it into words. I need someone to go clean that up. You don’t even have to know. You don’t have to be some like massive English major. They just need you to clean it up. So it doesn’t sound like speech. It sounds like it’s written word. If you love to read, you will be great at that. There are so many things that people don’t even realize that are marketable. So maybe you just love the design stuff. Great. Go, go use an app like Canva, that’s free and start doing some graphic design.

Chantelle:
You don’t need Photoshop. You don’t need all the extensive skills and get started, sell somebody your service for $12 an hour or do a package and just get started. And if you do that and you are consistent, the people that are successful, it’s not because they came to the table with more skills, more knowledge, more experience than you it’s that they came to the table saying I can be successful, no matter my circumstances. And I’m not going to put up excuses, I’m going to put up solutions. I am going to find solutions to the problems I get interrupted by my daughter all the time on calls. I, my nurse, I was telling you, we were talking about this just before we hopped on this hall. My nurse, when COVID hit said, Hey, I can’t work for a couple of months until we see what’s going on.

Chantelle:
And I went from having a nurse several hours a week and my child full time in school to my child’s full time home and no nurse. Yeah. I figured it out. Cause I said, I’m going to be somebody that’s successful. I’m going to figure a solution. And so I’ve had her sitting on my lap for calls. I’ve had Missy backgrounds for calls. I’ve had, I’ve had to jump off things and say, I’m so sorry, you guys, I have to go because I heard a big crash in my house. Right. And like, people will, that is just life and that’s okay. And then I just move on. How do I fix it? How do I make something out of it?

Genia:
Yeah. So in Not Yet Notable, I’m sure in your business, you have, you know, while people are coming through with all kinds of business ideas right in there. So can you share some additional examples from the people that you serve and Not Yet Notable if people that have taken, you know, something on that list of things that they’re good at and they don’t hate doing and turned it into a business.

Chantelle:
Yeah. I have a client that’s a fairytale photographer. So she actually does these incredible photos where she, she makes them look like they’re out of a, like a fairytale book. There are so cool and she’s already doing that, but she wanted to be able to teach other photographers, how to get into fairytale photography. Very specific niche was able to grow a group of Facebook group around that and bring those people in and teach them how to do that. I’m highly profitable for her. I had a client that was brand new in the podcasting age. He had just started hearing podcasts, knew he wanted to podcast, started his own podcast.

Chantelle:
He had no following. Nobody knew who he was, but one of the things he had done really well was he got on, he had gotten a couple of people to interview on his podcast and then sold them into something on the backend. And so he was profiting from his podcast, which most people never do. He was able to profit. And so we immediately were able to take him and say, okay, cool. You want to learn how to profit from your podcast? He didn’t have a course. He didn’t have a program. He didn’t have anything. We brought 250 members, people that had no idea who he was organically. He spent $0 to do this, brought them into his group, told them about what he was doing, made them an offer, and then was able to sell them into our program, which he built with them made $12,000 in 30 days.

Chantelle:
Now that sounds crazy. And it might not be true for everyone that’s listening. I’ve had people that have been sitting on their butts with an incredible idea. They’re so good at something, but they have been excuse after excuse after excuse and I’ve watched them fail for two years. So the difference is not that that person had a more marketable skill than you did. It’s that, that person said, I’m going to keep trying, I’m going to keep working at it. I’m going to keep going until I figure this whole thing out. I’m willing to put in some work on the front end. I’m willing to say, Hey, this is a new skill for me. I would love to exchange a little bit of my time for a testimonial because that’s huge value. Testimonial, that person saying that you did a really good job. There’s a lot of value there.

Chantelle:
I would love to exchange a little bit of my time and you have to be learning, willing to learn in the beginning, the skills that you need. So pick something that you love to do. Pick something that you enjoy doing. Let’s go back to the example of you love reading books, right? You can be a copy editor and help people through that. And you might need to go watch some YouTube videos on how to do proper grammar. You might, there are so many free resources though. And so many people get caught up in the, I don’t have the money. I don’t have the skills. I don’t have the experience. I can’t be successful. And instead you just need to say, okay, I don’t have the money. I don’t have the skills. I don’t have the experience. How do I get those three things so I can be successful? And if you don’t have the money, how do I get those things for free, right.

Genia:
Hey there. Have you ever heard that Einstein quote insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results? Kind of like me, I was working full time as a midwife and trying to figure out how to build and support a community of parents with disabilities. It was just a lot. It was too much learning the ropes to building out my digital course. The what, why and how of inclusive education is what allowed me to gain some balance between my family’s need, for me to be present and available my commitment to truly serving my community and earning a little money to support my family. And if you’ve ever thought about doing something a little differently in your life, it’s time to officially start, like right now, Amy Porterfield, who taught me how to build a digital course as an awesome new free masterclass called how to create and launch a profitable digital course from scratch.

Genia:
Meaning that you can get access to my digital course creation, mentors, coaching for exactly $0. Jump into the training time that works best for you by going to good things in life.org forward slash Amy, she’ll teach you the 30-minute post-it party method to kickstart your digital course planning so that you’ll pull the ideas out of your head and get them onto paper. She’ll cover how to build your confidence that you have something to offer. No, you don’t need to be the end, all be all expert in your field, or even hold a certification or degree to teach something successfully and to make a big difference. And she’ll cover how just one digital course can create an income stream for your family that still allows you to show up as the parent that they need and that you want to be. I learned how to take my knowledge and the knowledge of others and make it available online from Amy. And I’d love for you to have the same opportunity Amy doesn’t offer this often. So don’t miss out. I’m hoping that you will join me inside the free master class. I’ll see you sitting there virtually right beside me and support you through this journey. Again, if you’re interested, you can find the registration page so you can pick a time that works for you at goodthingsinlife.org/amy.

Genia:
Yep. And I, yeah, I think that that’s really, I think it’s really important and really valid. And you don’t also, I think I was talking to, I talked to somebody else about this. One of the other guests about this is you don’t have to have it all figured out, right? Like you, if you pick something that you decide you want to do, you just need to be able to, you just need to figure out what the next step is. You don’t have to have all the steps sorted out. So, you know, if you’re taking a, if you’re interested in copy editing you can watch some YouTube videos on basic copy editing, and then literally just start talking about it on your Facebook profile. I mean, I’m interested in doing this. Does anybody have anything that they need edited? You know or bartering sometimes if there’s something that you can’t find for free, you may be able to barter some of your time for whatever it is that you need to learn, figure out as well.

Chantelle:
Yeah. So great examples. So we were talking about the book that’s coming outside of a book that I it’s a compilation of letters from parents who have children with special needs and it’s all these different letters. And I thought, okay, I don’t know how to publish a book. I’ve been in other books, but I don’t know how to publish a book. I do not have the, like the resource. So I’m very transactional in how I spend my income. So if I need to pay for my website every single month, I make sure that I have like specific money coming in. That covers that cost. I’m like, well, I don’t have specific money coming in to cover the costs of publishing of editing of this, of that, of covered design. Like what do I do? So at the time, and this was, we started this book almost a year ago.

Chantelle:
Now at the time I was like, okay. I found somebody that was willing to trade their time to, to edit, to, to go through all the copy, to publish the book and all of that kind of stuff in exchange for some of my skills and my knowledge on building a highly active and engaged community. So we exchanged, there was $0 exchanged, right. But what was exchanged was value just as you said, and now I have a book that’s about to come out and it didn’t cost me money. It costs me my skillset, which I was willing to trade for that thing. And so I think everybody has something that you’re good at, or that you can learn to be good at. Maybe you’re like, I’m not good at anything. Canvas. There are a ton of people that don’t have time to build their own graphics.

Chantelle:
In fact, I, myself am looking for someone to listen to my content and then repurpose it into graphics and you can do it on canvas. I could do it myself. I don’t have the time. So I’m happy to pay somebody to do it. All you need to do is go on YouTube and learn how to use Canva, which there’s a ton of free tutorials and it’s very easy to use. And then now you have a marketable skill and you started something that seems ridiculous. You’re like, Hey, it’s $10 an hour. Or, Hey, I have a package. I’ll build five graphics for you for $50. Right? And once you get that, now you’re like, great. I have a client. Now you have your next client, your next client, your next line, you build on that. Every single person on the planet has the ability to do that. I watched people in foreign countries, in Africa, in India, in, in, in place in Nigeria where people are used to like being scammed that have built incredibly successful businesses. Because instead of saying, my circumstances will define me. They said I’m going to go make something in my life. And they did it. Any person listening can do it. You just have to change your mindset.

Genia:
Right. So on the topic of changing mindset, it would be really nice if we, as humans could just be like, I need to change my mindset, flip that switch, and then feel really good. Right. But that doesn’t, that’s, you know, most of us are not superheroes in that regard. And I, I wonder that. So first of all, I guess, have you ever had those moments where your mindset has not been an asset to your success and how did you manage that? Like how did you transition your mindset?

Chantelle:
I ride the emotional roller coaster all the time. In fact, I wrote an article on it and I write it as a special needs parent, where there are days where I feel like I’m a rockstar parent and I am really crushing this whole thing. And there are days where I throw a parent tantrum and then I regret my choices as an adult and I’m crying a corner later. So like, nobody’s perfect. I also ride that emotional roller coaster in business. And it’s the same thing we do as parents that I, I know, like you said, right, if only we could just tell ourselves not to do these things. Cause I’m like, I know not to compare myself or my kid to other people, then you see somebody else. And you’re like, here comes the comparisons. Look at that successful person over there. Look at that kid.

Chantelle:
That’s this year old. But to see me, just my child doing more and I’m like, don’t compare, but we still do it. And so the biggest thing that has helped me transition into a successful mindset into a momentum mindset is listening to podcasts, listening to self-help style books, how to win friends and influence people is like my Bible. I love that book. And I, I, it takes me forever to read because my brain is like literally a hundred places. So I listened to the audio version. I listened to that book. I watched motivational videos on YouTube. I get rid of the negative people in my life and surround myself with a community of people that are moving forward that are constantly being positive that are, that are ready to make an impact. Instead of if you are around a bunch of people that tell you, you suck, you can’t succeed. You’re not good enough. You will never have success in your life because all of their negativity will flood your mind. But if you were around a bunch of successful people that tell you that if you just keep going, you will get there and eventually your brain will go, Hey, we just keep going. We’ll get there. And you’re around the right type of people. You will have success.

Genia:
And if you leave all of those toxic Facebook groups for parents of kids with disabilities, where there’s, you know, as you said like people really tearing each other down, but also there are a ton of massively active groups that are full of people who are just kind of wallowing in negativity. And you know, talking about how, you know, their child is a burden and how terribly hard their life is. And, you know, talking about their kids in ways that frankly would be really hurtful if their child ever read, you know, leaving that and choosing a community like good things in life or Stronger Mommy where, you know, we’re really not denying that. Sometimes things are hard. Like that’s not the point, but not fostering a culture of negativity, I think is just really huge. And I think for, I mean, you’ve made a lot of really valuable and actionable suggestions for what people can do to help their mindset, to be positive and to be sort of hopeful and optimistic about the potential for growth for themselves.

Genia:
And now I know I’m talking about this Facebook group thing, but I just, I really feel strongly like when people get a diagnosis or find themselves, you know, for the first time considering that their child does or might have a disability and they Google that those kinds of Facebook groups are some of the first places that people find. And I, I think it’s life-sucking for, you know, and so if you’re in those groups, just leave, there are better, you know, better, more positive, friendlier spaces to be. And if you’re, I don’t think you can get to the kinds of suggestions that you’re making Chantelle. If you’re spending all your time around people who are telling you, you know, it can’t, it won’t, it’s awful, you know, poor us kind of thing.

Chantelle:
Yeah. So business, they say hire fast and fire faster. And I think the same thing is actually true about friends, especially when we’re talking like “friends on social media”, right? Not the people that you’ve spent your whole life and growing up with. Although sometimes those people need to take a little step back from them to like bring friends into your circle, fast, pick them out faster. If that brings somebody in, welcome them to your community, to your circle, learn who they are. If they are negative all the time, if they are dragging you down if you notice that every time you’re around that person or you’re in that Facebook group, you start to feel kind of crappy about your life. GTF, get out around that. Notice how you’re reacting to things, just because Stronger Mommy is a positive environment. Doesn’t mean you can’t come in and vent about a situation that happens on the churn.

Chantelle:
But there’s a difference between having a moment where you say, I feel like crap right now. I need to vent. I need to get this off my chest. I need somebody to say, Hey, I’ve been there. I get it. I need that support for a moment. And living in a place where, when somebody says, Hey, I get it. I’ve been there. Here’s the thing I tried that really helped. There’s a difference. There are people that say, Oh, I’ve tried that it won’t work. And there are people that go. I try that. But maybe not quite that way. Let me try again. Let me try again. People are the people that will have success, and you have to think about how you react to a situation. If your first reaction is, Nope, it won’t work for me. Nope. My life sucks. Life is hard. Things are hard.

Chantelle:
Everyone else is better off than I am. That’s true. If you also feel that I am good, I am, I am worthy. I deserve more out of life. My child deserves to have a mom that loves herself. My, you know, my family deserves for me to have the success in my life that I know I want, that will fulfill me so I can give the most of my child and I can take suggestions and try those things. That’s also true. Whatever you tell yourself is absolutely true. The words that you say in your head, the words that you say out in public, the people you surround yourself with. So you have to change that.

Genia:
Right. Yep. Parenting and business.

Chantelle:
Yeah. For us, for life all the time. And they’re not perfect and I’m not a steps ahead. The funny thing is when I founded Stronger Mommies, my mentor at the time said you should help special needs parents. And I was like no, I have one who at the time was like two years old. I have one child that is two years old with special needs. And there are people that have six children with special needs that their children are all the way up to 21 or well out of the house and growing up, how could I ever possibly help those people? I am nobody. I am new at this game. I know nothing. And he said, I guarantee you have unique skills, the way that you look at things, the way that you do things is different and you can help these people. And so I had imposter syndrome and I still do in everything that I do, but I don’t have to be the end. All be all like ready for a Ted talk. I just have to be one step ahead of the people I’m helping. So don’t think, Oh my gosh, but I don’t know everything there is to know about grammar. How could I be a copy editor? Do you know more than me? Good, great. Come on. Learn as you go.

Genia:
Or even you may not be one step ahead of the person who prefers to speak their book into an audio file. You may just be the person who likes the written word. So yeah, there’s lots of, lots of possibility there. Lots of possibility.

Chantelle:
It’s funny to me, because for a long time, I didn’t realize that there were like I’m. So in my own head that like, I hate research. If I could, if I could scrub toilets in India, instead of do research, like sign me up, fly me out there. I hate research. And there are people who have research. It is their GM. They could spend hours. It’s the most fun thing in the world to them. So, you know what I need, I need somebody that loves research in my life because I hate it so much. So it doesn’t, you don’t like, it’s not about the skill. Do you enjoy doing that? Awesome. There are people that need you to do it for them because there are people like me that hate it. You don’t have to be good at everything. You just have to find something that you’re halfway decent at, that you don’t mind doing for a while, and then find somebody willing to pay you for that skill. It’s not that hard.

Genia:
Yeah. Yeah. Totally. So if you had sort of one piece of advice for parents who are considering trying to build an income stream, well-taking care of their kids, what do you think would be the sort of, one of your key messages to people?

Chantelle:
Make the list of all the skills you have, even if you don’t think it’s a skill, like if you can do it, Hey, I can kick a ball across the field. Like make a list of all those things. Cross off all the things on that list you don’t want to do. Even if somebody paid you, group them together into categories and then put it out there into the internet and say, Hey, I do this, I do this. I do. This is anybody in need of these services. And I guarantee you, there are people in need of your services. And they will be like, yes, I need this thing, this thing, this thing, what do you charge? Pull a number out of your butt and see if somebody will pay you for it. It does not have to be complicated. Just put it out there. And if that person’s like, Ooh, I was really interested, but I can’t afford that price. Great. No problem. I would love to work with you on an exchange for a testimonial where I lower my price, but you give me a testimonial at the end, build up your skills and then maybe you do that thing for a while and you realize, you know what? I thought I liked reading. I hate it. I don’t like editing copy for people. That sucks. Cool. Find the next thing, move on. You don’t have to keep it as not curtains. Right? Like just, just do something.

Genia:
And you don’t have to get it right. The first time. I just really love that, that piece around, you know, like just, you don’t have to nail it right out of the gates.

Chantelle:
I get it wrong all the time. All the time I fail. I failed making money on the end at the first time. And then I was like, okay, that sucked. How do I try it again? And I mean like, think about children when they’re learning to walk. Right. Does that kid, the first time they fall over, they’re like, Oh, I guess I’m not going to walk. Yes. It’s not for me. No. They fall over and they fall over and they fall over and they fall over and they fall over until eventually for some of us, my daughter didn’t walk till she was two and a half. I was like, maybe you’re not going to walk. But then she did. And sometimes you don’t like it. That’s not the, even if your child can’t do those things, or even if you’re like, I can’t do that thing. I guarantee you that you, along with your child, no matter their disability, no matter your challenges in life, there is something incredibly special that you have that no one else on this planet has to offer. And that you can leverage that to make a better life for you and your family.

Genia:
Yeah. And the only addition I would make to that is that if other people are offering what you’re good at, that doesn’t mean that you can’t be successful offering it to, right. So it doesn’t have to. Yeah. There’s just only one of you. So the way you offer, whatever it is you do is going to be special and unique. But there are certainly lots, like, just like you said, there are millions of people on this planet and you don’t need to serve all of them in order to bring in an income stream, that’s going to help stabilize your family financially and allow you to do what you need to do at home with your kids. For sure.

Chantelle:
It’s the abundance mindset versus the scarcity mindset. And unfortunately, most of life has taught us that there is not enough to go around. And so we need to be scared. There’s not enough clients. There’s not enough money. There’s not enough business. There’s not enough jobs. You should be scared. And instead, you need to understand that there is enough. You just need to go and take it. There’s enough people to hire you and 12 other people that do the exact same thing that you do. There’s enough people to hire you in 15,000 other people that do the exact same thing that you can do because there’s so many people that need that. So don’t be scared. Think abundance because it’s there and it’s waiting for you to gravel, take it, and make your life better.

Genia:
Yeah. I think for parents of kids with disabilities, that scarcity mindset is even more drilled into us because we are very often told there aren’t enough services. There aren’t enough. You know, there’s not enough money for educational assistance. There’s not enough money for you know, therapy. There’s not enough access, only a limited number of people you’re on a waiting list. You’re, you know, like the, the scarcity thing is big. I think, you know, like the and we experienced it a lot as our kids throughout our kids’ lives. And so I think it, it can be potentially even more difficult to imagine that people could just reach out and grab some abundance for themselves. You know especially if you’re in a period of time where things are really, really intense with your kids, you know? So

Chantelle:
I do it too. We all make things more complicated than they have to be. We,

Genia:
I think yes is definitely my

Chantelle:
I’m like, what’s the, what’s the hardest path to get from point a to point B. I think I’ll take that one. And instead, there’s actually a really simple, straight line. It just seemed way too easy to be possible. So we like automatically negated it as an, as a possibility. There’s so many ways to have success in your life. And it’s so easy to think. No one is dealing with the things that I’m dealing with. No, and you’re right. No one is dealing with the things that you specifically are dealing with. They are dealing with their own challenges, their own hardships, their own things that make it hard for them. Even some of the most incredibly successful people in the world and ended up being miserable at the end of their lives. I mean, Steve Jobs, most people would look at him and say, Oh my God, like that guy really had it.

Chantelle:
All right. But instead he was like, if I could go back, I wouldn’t have wanted to make more money. I would have wanted to have more time. Well, he probably envies you cause you have time with your kids. You’re home, you’re around, right? Like there are so many parents that are working full time. Sure. They’re bringing in a bunch of money and their kids might have anything they want, but they don’t have their parents around. Right. We all have our own unique circumstances. The difference is just saying with my unique circumstances, am I living in a place where I say, well, was me, life is hard. I can’t be successful. Or what can I do to make this better?

Genia:
Right. I, 100% agree with you. Yeah. I think it, the mindset piece is so, so incredibly important. And you know, I joked about not really being able to just flip a switch to change how you’re feeling or your mindset about things, but you can just choose different thoughts and the more you choose different thoughts, they sort of become a little bit more habitual and you actually believe them more and more when you start changing your thoughts. And so that is almost like flipping a switch in. So as it’s super easy, you can do it on the spot. It requires zero investment. It’s just, they’re available to you around your mindset. And I think, you know, we, this, this stuff around, you’ve said, it’s not just business and parenting it’s life. And I agree with you. I think around our parenting, thinking about how mindset is holding us back potentially, and our limiting beliefs are holding us back potentially is a really healthy exercise when we’re also thinking about what we’re expecting in, in, and for our kids’ lives.

Genia:
Because very, very often we’re under like we’ve got low expectations. We’re quick to think that things might not be available. We’re quick to feel sort of hopeless and despondent about people’s prospects, you know, about our kids’ prospects in the future. And for sure what you think like, whether you think it, you know, their life is going to be positive or you think their life is going to be negative your right. You know, so it’s worth it to be thinking about our mindset and our thought habits. Whether we decide, we want to earn a little income on the side or not because this sort of habitual negativity that we see so often in disability communities or parenting communities it’s a, basically, it’s a virtual guarantee that things will continue to be crap in their life and in the life of their kids.

Chantelle:
And so often I think we don’t realize how much, how observant our children are, but they really are. They’re your energy when you are thinking negative thoughts when you are not feeling good about yourself, your life, your future, all of that. They feel that they sense that that comes into them. Then there’s the kid that says, Oh, I’m not good at school. And you’re like, you could be, you could be amazing, like find that positivity in yourself so that you can have that be the thing that they see have that be the light for them, that they go, wow, mom’s always so positive and you’re right. You can’t just flip a switch, but start to recognize the times again, I’m not perfect, but start to recognize the times when you’re like, Whoa, wait, I’m going, I’m going down this negative thought path. How do I change it?

Chantelle:
And sometimes for me, I say, Ooh, I don’t like the thoughts I’m having. I’m going to go listen to a motivational video or I’m going to, you know what, sometimes I’m feeling really just kind of icky and depressed or whatever. And I know for me personally, this isn’t for everyone. But for me personally, when my emotions build up too much, I just need to have a good cry, like notebook and cry it out. And then I’m like, I feel so much lighter. Like I let it out. So whatever that thing is, listen to there’s, there’s a song that just every time you put it on, you light up, you dance around your room, put that in your, in your phone. And when you start to feel yourself headed down the negative train, but that song on and be like, Nope, not today, negativity. I’m going to nip that in the bud right away.

Chantelle:
And I’m going to dance it out to this song. Like whatever that thing is for you go hug your kid, go, go get your nails done. Even if you’re like, ah, I don’t think we can afford that. Like figure it out. If that’s the thing that makes you feel like, okay, cool. I can get through the next day because the other option is that you spend all of this time being miserable and it believes in every aspect of your life, your work, your family, everything, or you choose to change. And there are ways to make that happen. And that’s when you’ll be like, Oh my God, life is actually not so bad.

Genia:
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think that’s true. And the, you said, you know, you’re talking about the student and being like, Oh, I’m not good at school. Well, you could be is you can also have that same conversation when you have really doting thoughts or sort of imposter syndrome, thoughts that may come up in your head. Cause it may be true. You may be really bad at XYZ, but you couldn’t be better.

Chantelle:
I was horrible in school.

Genia:
Mentality is really helpful.

Chantelle:
I was a C student and it was like, we were lucky that Chantelle got C’s. Like I was, when I went to college, my mom said to me, when I told my mom, I want to go to college. She was like, really? I didn’t think you were going to go to college. Legit. Like, but now I’m somebody that loves to learn. But it’s cause I found that spark for me, that was exciting. School was never exciting before. And I’m trying to instill that excitement to my child and it’s not something my mom did wrong. Like it was just school was that exciting for me. And I was a terrible student. I figured out how to make it work for me. So like whatever that thing is for you figure out how to make it work for you. Figure out what excites you, what lights you up the way that you learn best because there are different ways of learning and then follow that path. Success is out there. You just have to go take it.

Genia:
I think that’s a really perfect spot to end. Chantelle, if people wanted to follow up with Stronger Mommy or Not Yet Notable, how would people find you?

Chantelle:
Yeah. So just Google or search Stronger Mommies plural on Facebook. Yeah. So the brand is Stronger Mommy singular, but the group itself, because we want to join the community is the plural version, Stronger Mommies. Or you can follow me on the internet Chantelle Paige Turner. Like you know that book’s a real page-turner and now you’ll never forget me. So it’s my real name.

Genia:
Awesome. Awesome. Thank you so much, Chantelle. I’m really grateful for this conversation for your time. And I am quite sure that lots of my listeners will be Googling Stronger Mommies and looking to join your positive community. Thank you.

Chantelle:
My pleasure. Thanks for having me on.

Thanks for Listening!

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Special thanks to CHANTELLE PAIGE TURNER for joining me this week. Until next time!

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